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Cross my heart and hope to die I wish blood on my enemies/
For any penance im leaving out of these sentences/
It’s not revenge if it evens out the demons out/
I won’t pretend that I’m not screaming loud at these people now/
Iim off a vodka how just to deal with insecurity/
The purity is how I see abusers flinging moves at me/
Takes me back to almost jumping off the ceiling/
While pumped on all the pills, almost lunging off the building/
Mama keep telling me, ask the lord for forgiveness/
I want war with these bitches, I want corpses and weapons/
In the morgue im the story that Dr Crowly envisioned/
I want horrible things if no recourse for my sin/
Throw caution to wind I show no remorse in the end/
Im not for amends i’m cautious of the awful events/
It’s awful again, but this time before I do it/
I’ll clean my fucking room so when they find me i’ll be
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V1 : There something inside of me/
Huddles my bed when I try to leave,
Strangles my neck when I try to breathe/
Lunges my depths when I hide and weep
My uncle was tempted with irony/
My uncle found dead why he try to sleep/
My tears were shed but just silently/
I think of myself all so violently/
I feel like any minute, I will let em in and all the demons be eating me out/
Every Second here it’s electric chair through the windows they seeing me shout/
Dont know what people are thinking now, if I leave will the read about it/
I’m addicted to how I feel,I’m addicted to how I deal cause I fuck with
Chorus : I fuck with black majik(yah), I fuck with black majik(yah)/
I love the bad habits(yah), I love the bad habit(yah)/
Fuck all mathmatics(Fuck em), fuck all mathematics(fuck em)/
I fuck with bad majik(yah), I fuck bad majik(yah)/
V2: These habits that I have will never cease to exist/
I believe in this shit, grieve and live in my grief/
The hedonism I got no air i gotta breathe in this mist/
The smoke in the air is prepared to host the evillestness/
How deep does it get, these potions I ain’t mixing em well/
It’s Kenan and Kel in the end when they lift up the veil/
Or lift up the curtain, but if anything is so certain/
These sigils is working the hexes is so evil it’s perfect/
But yah, i ain’t showered in long/
Always depressed, dejected every hour at home/
The pile of my clothes on couches gets higher and cold/
I feel so alone,but I don’t wanna pick up the phone cause i fuck with.../
Bridge : [I fuck with black magic yah/
I fuck with black magic yah
I fuck with black magic yah/
I fuck with, I fuck with/ ] x 2
[Chorus]
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Hook : i feel a million miles away as i sink under the spell /
i don't know what to think or say mind & soul are slipping out
V1 : I told my mama that the devil got a place for me/
I’m going to hell and I bet that i’ll be safe for weeks/
I’m only human even though it doesn’t feel that way/
broken useless in the morgue and I cant leave the place/
I think im souless in my solace, hopeless I don’t know if/
My emotions by an offswitch in an office/
While the doors are open closing and there no one,In the corridors/
at my reflection in the mirror like here’s a sorry thought/
Part this shit is so very simple,My heart is so dead with tissue/
The karma as heaven hits you, see my only option is devoting myself in minstrel/
i think that responsible this monster is won’t let me hear you/
I think of all the problems I ponder if it is worth it/
Shit we live and hurt just to weep in our mini skirts and /
Do the 9 to 5 stay alive and we kicking dirt/
See I see the light at the tunnel just little blurry/
Hook
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V1: I mean it’s been a few months was waiting to right you back/
I apologize to my dad then placing him in the spam/
The basics of all this rage you’re complacent in where you stand/
The awakening in of this fag vs the making … of of this man./
Careful where you stand I’m taller and even stronger/
lift up on your feetI told you don’t let me warn ya/
tell me dont raise my voice don't tell me to make it calmer/
There’s some shit we gotta clear is you ready my little powtnah/
I think you mad cause you lost control/
You want me to fall in line on the xs and os/
You want me on dotten signs It’s sick a rotten mind/
This bitch is always fine, equipped with all your lies/
Only thing I need is maybe vodka and little therapy/
Some weed maybe serge Ibaka and two Sarafem/
sick and im calling the doctor new Benzathine/
But ima just leave you alone if you let me be/
So it’s been years since I talked to granny/
I think it’s pretty sick that I lost a family/
the PIs watching in that solo camry/
With my anxiety I should be off the xanny/
Those chosen one, sad bitch lowest scum/
The coldest hun Black Sheep Talk to em/
And ah, if the situation changed/
I wouldnt have said shit done exactly and the same
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V1 : I’m trying to save myself and I will do it by myself/
I don’t trust a soul and I don’t need no fucking help/
I’m paranoid that everyone is out to try and get me/
I’m looking over shoulders as im passing through through the deli/
Maybe cause my skin or maybe it’s the way I dress/
I’m tearing out my limbs I won’t make it till the next/
I’m walking down the street i’m anticipating death/
All because a motherfucker upped it on my head/
Hook : I go into the void/ fuck
V2 : Back in the danger, No less
I’m passing the strangers so scared/
They Acting invasing, oh dear/
They slashing my face up(yah yah)/
I’m happy i made it right unto the haste/
My Hand on my waist plan to escape/
Gradually faint hit my ass on the pavement/
Panic degraded step out of my face/
I’m having a little of trouble,
I saw a man with who so sinister hand was all bleeding and/
Thought he was serial maybe he wasn’t/
Thought that he gon kill me blade in my stomach/
The void is place of the torment and mourning, summoned by spirits from horror belowest/
darkest of depths in the corners of corners dont say i didnt warn ya don’t say i didnt warn ya
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V1 : I know I haven’t called but I love you bro/
I hope you understand that this is how I didn’t think I’ll plan this/
I’m damaged my fear is how I navigate the planet/
if I stopped myself from talking I will stop your friends from laughing/
im putting salt up in the bandage/
I’m walking with a lasso on the stage as I ropodope the only hope/
I have im hoping i won’t overdose, i’m too old for the 27 club/
I’m a total joke/
I just hope you doing better I can’t really get on the phone right now/
Im scared and I’m supposed to be the big older sister not remotely close/
I’m just trying not to break down at once if you know you know/
I guess maybe I should go to therapy/
Cause keeping it inside is something that is eating me alive/
I think that I will die, I aint living to survive/
If you can see me you would see it my eyes but… fuck
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8. |
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Hook : Who that nigga getting gold who getting throwed these bitches better know/
Who the nigga getting froze, who that nigga with the on these bitches better know/
Who that nigga with the chains who the nigga who make my niggas feel a way/
Say who that nigga with the gold who that nigga getting throwed these bitches better know/ x2
V1: Pastors get the cash and then they spend it/
Lavish mansions calabasas/
Fuck these fascists, I wanna run with pump to blast it up they jackets/
Why the fuck everyone in the church poor, why the fuck everyone so dirt poor/
Why the fuck these motherfuckers need a jet when everybody else aint got a meal in yet/
Politicians politicking and i'm thinking/
Lord has witness cost of giving and I say/
Oh I think its so religious/
Money fits in holy scriptures/
Co-conspirators lord has witness/
Fortune wishing so ridiculous more for business/
Open leases pocket pinching robbing citizens/
No forgiveness morals listen and i'm thinking
hook
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10. |
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V1 : I know that shit has changed a lot with the way that I am/
No way that I planned for it go this way understand/
feel like you lost a son but you gained a daughter/
You think it;s plain and awkward, you think im pain and sorrow/
You think I broke your heart, I think it’s for survival/
Both you and I know, go do or die so/
fortune is final, don't do what I don't/
Spend your whole life regretting this shit is pathetic/
I wish I started sooner, Fuck the halleluahs/
Fuck these fucking boomers, Fuck these fucking losers/
Fuck these motherfucking fuckers in their fucking two trucks/
Fuck these fuck abusers and fuck these fucking rumors/
Fuck em and, I will dare anyone/
To face me up headfirst while im layering these drums/
The pain that i've done compared to the pain i've undone/
It’s weighing a tone it’s heavy I don't wait for no one/
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Huge thanks to Doug and The Auricular for covering her Polaris Prize win and acknowledging Gr's involvement in helping Ashanti in her journey and success:
www.theauricular.com/news/backxwash-wins-2020-polaris-music-prize-for-album-released-on-richmonds-grimalkin-records/
BACKXWASH is part of the Grimalkin collective and is a trans rapper (she/her/it) from Zambia (currently living in Canada) whose music provides an eccentric and aggressive social commentary. Topics include blackness and queerness, as she strives to bring an intersectional perspective. Inspired by Missy Elliot and Redman, Backxwash is known for her complex lyricism on weird instrumentals. Her new album, God Has Nothing To Do With This Leave Him Out Of It, takes an even deeper dive into the personal. The listener gets a pinhole glimpse into her struggles with personal demons while tackling topics like religion and forgiveness.
backxwash.bandcamp.com
Please consider supporting Backxwash's music directly. Please consider giving her your support, including buying her music on the albums that you can purchase, by streaming her music whenever you can, and by sharing her genius with all your friends and family!
backxwash.bandcamp.com/album/
You can also support us by joining our Patreon:
www.patreon.com/grimalkinrecords